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Sausages: Lost in translation
June 23, 2008Lindsey Alexander
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Instead, we got this (see right):
Clearly, “sausage” has a different meaning in the UK. These babies look like the primitive Brits slaughtered the pigs behind the bar and made them into balloon animals.
So, the tasting process was… well, an adventure.
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Dowsing animal parts in a ton of BBQ sauce (this word certainly would not translate), so maybe my taste buds will be spared.
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Step 2:
Examination. The British may be trying to poison me to atone for America’s revolution. They are still bitter. This can be seen by their portrayal of us as savages in nearly all of their statues. (They clearly haven’t heard of the Atlanta Braves’ controversies.)
If you can’t tell, I am scared yet courageous, conquering my fears in the spirit of American freedom (one sausage if by land, two if by sea).
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“Eating.” While chewing, there was gristle in the meat. This may have been an attempt to seem more “authentic” than Jimmy Dean’s, or, more likely than that, an attempt on my life. I ate two of these sausages before resorting to my chips. (Sidenote to the less worldy: British “chips” are actually fries, which may be a subtle attempt not to have to attribute anything to the French.)
Step 4:
Pay the bill. Those dang sausages cost $15. That’s $7.50 for every link I managed to eat. Food isn’t cheap in the U.K. And they don’t believe in refills or doggie bags. This explains a lot, including street debris and a general lack of love for doggies.