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Fri 21 Dec 2007

… if your child is diagnosed with autism

By Charli Wyatt
When the doctors told Elaine Hackett that her youngest son has autism, it was like someone banging a lid down on top of her.
 
For Heather Andrews, it was like a herd of horses dragging her 10 miles.
 
For Carol-Anne Hossler, it was like someone she loved had died.
 
Until recently, it was estimated that about four or five in 10,000 children had autism. Earlier this year, the Centers for Disease Control published a new estimate – one in every 150.
 
It’s not clear whether the jump in the number of children diagnosed with autism is due to a rise
in actual cases or a greater awareness of what’s always been there. 
 
Local families share their
stories of autism:
 
The Diltses: Highest Hopes
 
The Hacketts: "We are blessed…"
 
The Hosslers: Finding Peace
What is clear is that more and more parents are experiencing the shock and confusion of finding out their child has autism.
   
Everything Changes
 
“There’s no such thing as having a normal family life when you have an autistic child,” says Susan Rautio-Dietz, a Bloomington psychologist who diagnoses and treats autism.
 
Carol-Anne Hossler, a professor at Indiana University’s School of Education, knows how true this is.
 
For nine years, Hossler and her husband had a normal life. They had two children, twin boys who had no disabilities.
 
When their third child, Jonathan, arrived, everything changed. Not only does Jonathan have a severe form of autism, he also has an intellectual impairment – he has an IQ of just 26.
 
The family used to vacation in Canada, where they stayed in cabins owned by relatives. They stopped going because it wasn’t safe for Jonathan, and it wasn’t a vacation for anyone.
 
For 10 years, Jonathan didn’t sleep through the night. Hossler and her husband would take turns staying up to keep an eye on him.
 
“We had no life,” says Hossler. “We had this traditional idea of what our family was going to be like. We were going to be high school central, where all the kids’ friends came in and went out. But Jonathan couldn’t tolerate it, and if he was going crazy then we were all going crazy.”
 
Hossler resisted the idea of putting Jonathan in a group home.
 
“We wanted to do what was right for Jonathan, but I’m looking at my baby, thinking, ‘I’m not shipping him out,’” says Hossler.
 
As reluctant as she was, Hossler allowed her husband to put Jonathan on the group home waiting list.
 
Six years later, when Jonathan was 10, a spot opened up in a group home just half a mile from the Hosslers’ Bryan Park home. They decided to give it a try.
 
“I think he is happier,” says Hossler. “Life is really tough for him because he doesn’t understand so much, but his world is a little larger because he has more than just one place to be.”
 
What is autism?
 
Autism is a neurological disorder that affects how people perceive the world and how they communicate, socialize, learn, and behave. It’s not an emotional disorder or a mental handicap.
 
The signs of autism usually show up before the age of 3 and usually include a delay in speech development. Children may not socialize like others their age, may seem withdrawn, and may appear obsessed with a particular toy or with lining up toys. Some also engage in self-stimulatory behavior, like waving their arms or flapping their fingers.
 
Although it’s not part of the criteria for a diagnosis, many children with autism also have extremely sharp senses – so sharp that loud noises like bells cause them pain, fluorescent lights appear to flicker like strobe lights, or gentle hugs are intolerable.
 
The effects of autism can vary greatly from person to person. Those with a mild form of autism may go undiagnosed until adulthood, or are never diagnosed at all.
 
There’s no known cure, and little agreement about what causes autism, though experts agree it’s definitely not the result of “bad parenting,” a theory that was popular in the 1960s. Today, researchers are investigating genetics, vaccines, allergies, viruses, and environmental factors.
 
What is certain is that each person with autism is an individual who will face a unique set of challenges with a unique set of abilities.
 
This can complicate a parent’s search for the best care for a child.
 
So where does a parent start?

Treatments and therapies
 
Rautio says it’s becoming more common for parents to have some idea of what autism is when they bring their children to her for an assessment.
 
Most, however, are mystified by the diagnosis.
 
“There’s always a little depression,” says Rautio. “[Parents think], ‘Oh my gosh, this is something horrible.’”
 
Rautio finds herself having to dispel myths about the kind of life parents can expect for their children.
 
People with autism do get married, says Rautio. They can have children, they can hold jobs, and they can lead happy lives.
 
Over the last two decades, scores of treatments and programs have been developed to help those with autism improve their quality of life. “The Autism Sourcebook,” a guide published in 2005, lists almost 70 different treatments that may benefit children with autism, including speech therapy, social skills training, physical therapy, medications, and special diets.
 
Bloomington also boasts a wide range of physical activity programs adapted for children with autism. The Monroe County YMCA offers several activities, including swimming, soccer, and general sports skills, and Indiana University offers an adapted physical education program. The City of Bloomington co-sponsors “Buddy Ball,” an adapted baseball program. For parents on a bigger budget, PALS offers “equine-assisted activities” – therapy on horseback.
 
Bloomington parents can get help sorting through all the options from the Indiana Resource Center for Autism at Indiana University. The IRCA’s extensive collection of books and videos on developmental disorders is open to all Indiana residents. The center also maintains a collection of pamphlets with local information and contacts.
 
The IRCA doesn’t offer therapies or treatment but can consult with parents on choosing the appropriate services for their children and finding agencies and individuals who can provide those services.
 
Most autism services are not free, however, and the costs can add up. Government benefits are available but can be difficult to access.
 
Eligibility for Medicaid benefits depends on the family’s income. The Medicaid Waiver Program, however, is open to all who require a certain level of care. It allows individuals with autism to receive services at home rather than at a live-in institution.
 
As of September, there were 345 people on Indiana’s autism waiver roster. There were 3,542 people on the waiting list.
 
Suzie Rimstidt, a local autism advocate who has worked with the IRCA and, more recently, as the Monroe County coordinator for the non-profit Southern Indiana Center for Independent Living, estimates the current wait time for a waiver to be about 10 years.

Educating a child with autism
 
One service that is absolutely free, however, is education.
 
The federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act requires public schools to provide appropriate education to children with disabilities, including autism, up to age 21. Last year, there were more than 8,000 students with autism in Indiana public schools, according to the Indiana Department of Education.
 
It’s up to parents and the schools to come to an agreement on what constitutes appropriate education for a particular child.
 
At least once a year, parents meet with teachers and administrators to design the child’s education plan for the coming year. If the school and the parents can’t agree, the parent can appeal for mediation, and then for a due process hearing, which is a legal proceeding.
 
Hossler says that managing her son Jonathan’s public school education was a daunting task, even though she is a former public school teacher and administrator. 
 
“It’s very intimidating to go into a meeting and sit down with a bunch of people who are accustomed to just running right through it,” says Hossler.
 
Parents need to know the system and understand the law so they can advocate for their children, says Hostler. If they feel uncomfortable meeting with the school alone, she says, they can bring someone with them who’s done it before.

"The best resource we had"

With so many choices and so much at stake, parents can feel overwhelmed. They often face tremendous pressure from a society that doesn’t understand what it takes to raise a child with autism.
 
“Some of the parents tell me, ‘Our families don’t see it. They don’t see the autism. They just think he’s a bratty child. They think we spoil him. They criticize our parenting,’” says Rautio.
 
“They’re getting it from all over the family. I’ve even had teachers and other psychologists say, ‘I don’t see this kid as autistic.’”
 
Parents have to stay focused, says Rautio, because they are their child’s best source of support.
 
“I teach them at the time of diagnosis, ‘You are the number one advocate for your child,’” says Rautio. “They have been told they’re overprotective, but they have to be, because their child’s different.”
 
She suggests that parents join a support group.
 
“It’s the most isolating thing when you’re the parent of an autistic child,” says Rautio. “You can’t dialog with somebody who has no idea what you’re talking about.”
 
Elaine Hackett, who has two sons on the autism spectrum, says the support of other parents “was the best resource we had.”
 
When her youngest son, Jason, was diagnosed with autism in the late 1990s, the doctors told her practically nothing. She felt like she’d been “dropped into a foreign country where you don’t speak the language.”
 
The only advice the doctors gave her was to find a parent support group. It turned out to be good advice. It was a parent in the Bloomington support group who helped Hackett overcome her disorientation.
 
“She encouraged us to just go ahead and not feel bad about not knowing anything, but just get in there and start moving toward getting him some help,” says Hackett.
 
“Parents are, I think, the greatest resource – people who have been there and done that,” says Heather Andrews, who socializes with other parents once a week while their children play at IU’s adapted PE class.
 
Andrews says she’s come to accept a certain amount of chaos in her life. Her 10-year-old son, Eddie, is highly intelligent but has a severe form of autism and a penchant for escaping the house at night. Andrews asked that their names be changed to protect him.
 
Eddie’s learning to help with housework, Andrews says. He loves it, but he’s not always helpful.
 
“He wants to do the dishes,” says Andrews, “and before you know it you’ve got broken dishes all over the floor and the kitchen is flooded.”
 
Andrews was devastated when she first learned that Eddie had autism, but today she can laugh about the little things – like broken dishes.
 
“A good sense of humor gets you through anything in life,” she says.

More about autism
 
 

Fri 21 Dec 2007

… if you’re planning for the worst

By Rama Sobhani
Lessons in preparing for a funeral and its aftermath
 
It’s possibly the most unpleasant occurrence anyone will ever have to face, but planning for a funeral ahead of time can make a difficult time a bit less trying. While most people don’t even want to consider the death of loved ones, let alone their own, it’s the unpredictable nature of death that needs attention ahead of time to make things easier on those carrying out last wishes.

And though nuts and bolts like legal proceedings and funeral preparations seem like the last things you’d want to have hanging around your neck after the passing of a loved one, they are the most important things to attend to.                                                                                 

“One of the first things you want to do is consult an attorney that specializes in estate administration or there can be legal consequences,” says William Fawcett, a Bloomington attorney who offers estate services.

Fawcett says the most common problem people run into after a family member dies is not having delineated clearly who gets what. There are a number of ways to designate heirs, including writing a will, establishing a living trust and establishing joint ownership, but Fawcett says each method has drawbacks.

“The method that involves the least professional assistance is naming a beneficiary using a ‘pay on death’ designation,” which he says establishes in writing who property should transfer to upon death.

If there is no beneficiary named, then the local government will have to mail out affidavits to notify each potential heir and that can get expensive, Fawcett says. The cost of postage will be billed to the estate.
 
The most obvious thing to get done is planning the funeral and, again, planning ahead is what those in the industry recommend to avoid unnecessary headaches.

“If people come in ahead of time and plan, the process will be easier and for people who lose a family member, the most common problem we run into is not having their vital stats such as maiden names and other information we need for writing an obituary for the paper,” says Ryan Goss, a funeral director at the Allen Funeral Home. “We advise people to have that stuff written down somewhere.”

Cost is another thing that should be high in people’s considerations and Goss says it’s something that is hard to estimate.

“The average cost is around $7,000 to $8,500, but we have caskets that are $7,000 by itself,” he says.

But a federal law known as the Funeral Act requires funeral homes to present customers with an itemized list of products, services and their cost. This list usually includes prices for preparation of the body, caskets, flowers, burial services and music.

According to Goss, the funeral home will take care of everything except the burial plot in the cemetery.
Useful links
 
 

Customers should be aware that every time they interact with a funeral home, this list must be presented to them by law.

There are a number of places from which to choose burial plots in Bloomington. The city maintains two cemeteries, Rose Hill and White Oak.

Jay Davidson, sexton for the city, oversees the administration of grave plots and makes sure that individual family members are laid where they had requested.

Rose Hill has been around since about 1810, and until recently all the burial plots were sold as family plots, he says. “Everything is sold as single graves now and each one costs $340. It’s usually couples buying sets now.”

Davidson says that Rose Hill is about 70 percent full, so plots are still available.

“If you haven’t done this before, it’s very hard the first time, but if you have to do it again, you’ll be prepared to do it, and I recommend getting as much info as possible beforehand,” he says.

Although not a nuts and bolts part of funeral planning, grief and bereavement counseling may be necessary for some to help deal with emotional aspects of loss.

There are a number of options available to Bloomington residents, including free group counseling at the Bloomington Hospital as a part of the Hospice program.

The adult bereavement groups are held in all but the summer months and are free and open to anyone in the community. In addition to counseling sessions, they feature information and resources including books for those not wishing to attend group sessions.

Sandra Clark is a counselor who maintains a private practice in Bloomington and also provides group counseling for the hospice program. Clark says support from the hospice is primarily available to those who have family members in hospice care, but anyone can get support even if they don’t.

“Grief counseling is not about changing the person, it’s not about fixing anything. It’s about being there with them as they process loss and to figure out how to cope on a daily basis and face responsibilities,” Clark says.

According to Clark, grief counseling spans an average of five sessions with a counselor and the average cost in private practice is around $70 per session. The hospice programs run for six weeks per session and are free of cost.

“Taking really good care of yourself is of the utmost importance. It’s not a time for a life review; really try to take care of yourself. Don’t get in a hurry to make changes, and it usually helps to share grief,” Clark says.
 

Fri 21 Dec 2007

. . . if you want to stop domestic violence

By Danielle Dravet
 
 
Although moving from one city to another may present new opportunities, it also creates an unstable atmosphere where there is an increased risk for domestic violence.

Domestic violence is considered to be an abuse of power between intimate partners, where the victim is controlled, threatened or harmed by the abuser.

“The reason leaving is the most dangerous time is because the abuser feels like he [or] she is losing control. The only way an abuser maintains control is with more violence,” explained Elizabeth Lopez, a case manager
at The Rise.
 
Services for victims of domestic violence
 
The Rise is a transitional living program for women who may need shelter or other protective services. Its mission is to create “a supportive, nonviolent community that provides individuals and families with opportunities to grow and prosper and the power to determine the shape of their own future.”

Because domestic violence is one of the least reported crimes in the United States, men and women must be better educated on what constitutes this type of abuse and what the legal ramifications are for the abusers.

A common myth equates domestic violence with physical violence; however, this is not true. It can also be in the form of emotional, psychological or sexual abuse.

Understanding what resources are available within the community can help victims to cope with these issues and to better understand their legal rights.

Middle Way House, Inc., a local nonprofit organization, offers support to abused women and children. Each year the center provides shelter, child care services, education, 24-hour crisis intervention, legal advocacy and prevention programs to the residents of Monroe County.

According to the organization’s 2006 annual report, it received 215 crisis calls, 370 information/referral calls and 339 requests for shelter. Middle Way House also monitored 1,673 court cases and filed 106 protective orders.
 
Reports conducted on domestic violence

However, the number of women being abused is estimated to be much higher, which is why the Bloomington Commission on the Status of Women launched an investigative report in 2001.

The commission’s goal was to measure the status of women within the community in regard to social, economic and gender equality. It sought information from various sources such as Middle Way House, the Monroe County Domestic Violence Task Force and the Bloomington Police Department.

Yet it found that information was difficult to obtain, especially when the crimes were classified as some form of victimization.

In the report, the commission documented that there was “no effort in place to gather and analyze data of this kind” and that outside of Middle Way House, the task force has not received reports from the prosecutor’s office or the Bloomington Police Department for over five years.

Although the commission could not find a large amount of data regarding domestic violence, it concluded: “Bloomington may be a community more free of gender-based bias and its manifestations than others in the state and country, but the data collected for this study do not suggest that violence against women and the local response to it are issues the community can ignore.”

For this reason, organizations like Middle Way House participate in community outreach programs.

According to its 2006 annual report, it “made 97 presentations about DV [domestic violence], rape/sexual assault, and/or other issues to 5,594 attendees.”
 
Domestic violence and the Bloomington community

By providing educational presentations, Middle Way House hopes to empower victims within the community and dispel myths that often deter them from seeking help.

                                                    Danielle Dravet   
Middle Way House, a nonprofit organization, provides
shelter and counseling to victims of domestic violence.
Because domestic violence is not limited to any one group, outreach services must be able to connect to a wide variety of people from a plethora of different backgrounds.

“It [Bloomington] is a very diverse community. It broadens the range of people that you’re working with,” said Sara Huntington, outreach coordinator for Middle Way House. “We have to make our services accessible, especially for people who aren’t from this country or who don’t speak this language.”

In addition to cultural and language barriers, thousands of new students from around the world come to Bloomington each year. Liz Hannibal, crisis intervention services coordinator for Middle Way House, explained that although students may be aware of domestic violence, they still possess the “it can’t happen to me” mentality.

Huntington agreed. “Every fall is particularly an issue because a lot of people come to Bloomington.”

She went on to explain that perpetrators often prey on college towns where students may be naïve or new to the area. Students are also the group least knowledgeable about services specific to the Bloomington community, which puts them at a greater risk for violence.

Although Middle Way House only provides services to women and children, Huntington reiterated that domestic violence crosses all borders. It is not limited to any one gender, age group, race, income level, sexuality or educational background.
 
National statistics on domestic violence

However, national statistics show that women are five times more likely to be victims of domestic violence than men, according to a report by the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

The same report also found that people with lower annual incomes were more likely to experience domestic violence than those with higher than average incomes.

Yet this could be because higher-income men and women are not reporting the crimes as often because of the resources available to them.

“We tend to see women who don’t have as much money, since women who are capable of making more money don’t need our services as often,” explained Mandi Priest-Redden, child care coordinator for Middle Way House. “They can afford a hotel room or go to a family member’s house. They can afford to move out.”

But many times, victims return home even after seeking shelter and legal assistance. Reasons vary, but many times it has to do with dependence — social, emotional or financial.
“There are high emotional costs for people who are experiencing domestic violence. In fact, the emotional scars are the ones that tend to last the longest,” explained Priest-Redden.

Because domestic violence is a multifaceted problem, it is difficult to pinpoint the origin of the violence.

“In some cases, the violence may be a means to control the other person. In other cases, the violence may be a result of poorly regulated emotions,” explained Dr. Zoe Peterson, a former research fellow of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

Although domestic violence is linked to a number of different factors, researchers agree that it is generational. “Someone who is abusive has probably been treated poorly as a child … [and] not taught good boundaries about communication and relationships,” said Priest-Redden. 

Sgt. Jeff Canada of the Bloomington Police Department agreed. He explained that many problems stem from the same families year after year and that substance abuse tends to play a significant role.

“A majority of the time the main factor is alcohol,” said Canada, reflecting on his experience as a police officer.

However, alcohol cannot be blamed for domestic violence; rather, it acts as a catalyst.

“Alcohol and drugs do not cause domestic violence. They might add to it. They may make it easier, but they don’t put the beliefs in their [the abusers’] heads,” explained Huntington.
 
Rehabilitation

But this isn’t to say that abusers cannot seek treatment on ways to better control the way they respond to and treat others.

Nonviolent Alternatives Counseling Service is an organization dedicated to helping abusive men and women find ways to better control their emotions while promoting “healthy thinking habits.” Services are available in Franklin, Shelbyville and Lafayette, Ind. The Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence has certified this organization.

There are online quizzes, resources for abusers seeking help and a referral information center found on its Web site. There are additional services that deal with substance abuse as well.

“As a human being, I have to believe in rehabilitation,” explained Priest-Redden. “I have to have faith that we have the capacity to change.”
 

Fri 21 Dec 2007

… if you want to adopt a dog or cat

By Nikki McAtee

There’s a lot to think about when bringing a non-tax deductible dependent into your home but also a lot of love in return. 

The decision to adopt a dog or cat should not be taken lightly. It’s easy to walk into a pet shop or shelter, look into the eyes of a cat or dog and fall immediately in love. Many Indiana University students bring home a lovable companion but fail to think about what happens after graduation or the time needed to care for a dog or cat.

“There are just as many students that have been bad parents as good ones,” said Muff Johnson, a volunteer at the Bloomington Animal Shelter.

Before making the decision to adopt you need to consider your lifestyle, living situation, finances, and the next 10 to 20 years of your life. If you decide that adoption is not for you but love animals, the Bloomington Animal Shelter is always looking for volunteers. Many students volunteer or just play with the animals at pet shops and shelters on a regular basis.

“I’ve had a lot of students that come and play all through school and come back to buy a puppy when they are ready,” said Karene Kidwell, co-owner of Delilah’s Pet Shop at 17th and Walnut streets.

So you really do want to adopt, where do you start?

                   Nikki McAtee
Alfonso, a kitten recently adopted from the shelter.
There are a few ways to go about adopting a dog or cat in Bloomington. The most common are contacting a breeder, going to a pet shop or visiting the Bloomington Animal Shelter.

The easiest way to find a breeder is to look through the classifieds section of the newspapers in southern Indiana. The drawback of adopting directly from a breeder is that the cat or dog will most likely cost over $100 and there will probably be some travel involved to get to the breeder. The huge benefit, however, is that you know where the cat or dog is coming from, which can play a great role in the behavior and health of your pet.

                         Nikki McAtee
Lola, a beagle and Japanese chin mix adopted from Delilah’s Pet Shop.
The next way to go adopt a cat or dog is to visit the local pet shops. There are two pet shops in Bloomington: Delilah’s Pet Shop and Pass Pets. Pass Pets chose not to comment; the store is in the College Mall. Delilah’s Pet Shop has been in business for 21 years. Delilah’s prides itself on selling healthy high quality animals.

“We work hard trying to keep them healthy,” said Kidwell. Kidwell follows strict guidelines, when deciding what animals to sell. She only buys from individual breeders and gets them at 8 weeks old, unlike many brokerages that sell at 6 weeks. “They have a lot to learn from their mother at that time. … I refuse to buy from brokerages,” said Kidwell. Most of the cats and dogs in Delilah’s Pet Shop sell for between $100 and $800, because many come directly from local breeders

 If you decide you want to adopt an older dog or just don’t want to pay breeder and pet shop prices, then the Bloomington Animal Shelter may be the place for you. Dogs and cats 5 years and younger are $75, while cats and dogs 5 years and older cost $55.

The shelter has been in business since 1968 and has about 5,200 adoptable animals a year. To adopt a cat or dog, you must first fill out an application and meet with an adoption counselor. The counselor will talk about any concerns you may have in caring for a pet, your long-term plans, and what training options are correct for you.

This rule was put in place “so people don’t choose an animal that is inappropriate for their lifestyle,” said Johnson, who has been with the shelter since 1990. “You can get a good sense talking to people,” said Johnson when discussing the counseling process. The shelter also works with local landlords and will call your landlord to make sure you are able to have pets.

                                    Nikki McAtee
These two dogs are waiting to be adopted today at the Bloomington Animal Shelter.

 

For many, the Bloomington Animal Shelter has been an excellent choice. Kate Lee, an IU law student, recently adopted a dog from the shelter. “They helped us find dogs with the right personality to a get along with the dog we already own,” said Lee.

In order to determine what would be the best fit for all members of her family, the shelter allowed Lee to bring in her dog and introduce him to potential playmates.

You have your pet, what now?  

After adopting your pet, you may have many concerns. “How do I get this thing to quit peeing on the carpet? Will it destroy all my furniture? Does it ever sleep for more than two hours straight?” There are many ways to get help, from your local vet to the hundreds of books written about owning pets to the “doggy day cares” and supply stores around town.  

The first stop to make after adopting your pet should be to your local veterinarian. “It makes sense to have an adoption [be] contingent on a post adoption checkup,” said Dr. Mary Alice Cox of the Bloomington Veterinary Hospital. Bloomington Veterinary Hospital has been open for about 34 years and Cox, along with veterinarian Dr. Jim Koch, have owned the practice for 19 years.

The hospital serves dogs, cats, birds, small mammals, and even reptiles. Before adopting, Cox suggested that “it is reasonable to check with a veterinarian prior to adoption to ask what expenses to expect for preventative health care.” The main expenses to worry about are spaying and neutering, which is usually free if you adopt from a shelter, heart worm medication for dogs, and flea and tick medication for both dogs and cats. The larger the animal, the more the medication usually costs.

After you have a healthy pet, the next thing to think about is behavior and a daily routine. There are places to take your dog during the day if you feel it won’t get the attention it needs. There are a few “doggy day care” facilities around town. These places are often cage-free, allow your dog to socialize with other dogs and go outside to use the bathroom when he or she needs to. Lee sends her dogs to day care “for a play day whenever they need more attention than we can give them, like during exams.”

There are also a variety of stores that sell supplies for your pet. Many of these places also offer grooming and training services. James Hardy, the manager of PetCo, located on East Third Street, describes PetCo as a place where “the animals really do come first.”

“We have an amazing trainer here, and programs for dogs of all ages,” said Hardy. PetCo and other supply stores also offer a wide range of merchandise for your pet.

Owning a pet is hard work, but it can be an amazingly rewarding experience. “You have to do more than just think with your heart when owning a puppy,” said Kidwell. Pet owners today have many resources available to them, including, shelters, veterinarians, and pet supply shops. If you’re willing to dedicate the necessary time and money to your pet, chances are you will have a lovable companion for a long time.
 

Other Information:

 

Fri 21 Dec 2007

… if you accidentally get pregnant

By Kristin McFarland
From Rachel on Friends and Miranda on Sex and the City to Katherine Heigl recently getting Knocked Up, unplanned pregnancy keeps getting sexier, funnier and more romantic.

But real life is no romantic comedy, and finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant can be frightening. Fortunately, Bloomington offers many options for women with all beliefs.

“This is probably one of the most difficult, momentous decisions a woman has to make in her life if she finds herself in that situation,” said Kathryn Brown, health and sexuality educator at the Indiana University Health Center.

But there are many places available to help you walk through the options and the steps available when you learn you are pregnant. The IU Health Center provides pregnancy testing, counseling through CAPS, and can refer you to other local services. Planned Parenthood provides pregnancy testing, counseling, abortion, obstetrical treatment, and adoption services. The Crisis Pregnancy Center offers free pregnancy testing, informal counseling and emotional support, medical referrals, material support, and even a maternity home with space available for anyone. Your spiritual center or faith path also can offer you emotional and spiritual guidance and support.

Deciding What to Do

Even if you are completely undecided, the first thing you should do is take care of yourself.

When a girl goes to Planned Parenthood in Bloomington, “We always encourage that until they have made a firm decision about what they want to do, they start decreasing their alcohol intake, decreasing smoking if they smoke, trying to make sure that they get enough rest, and taking prenatal vitamins,” said Larisa Niles-Carnes, local peer education coordinator and center assistant.

The decision about which path to take with your pregnancy should center on your life and values: do you want to continue the pregnancy, should you give the baby up for adoption, or should you have an abortion? All three of these options exist in Bloomington.

“The first thing I would do is ask a lot of questions. What do you want to do? Have you thought about what kind of decision you want to make?” said Kathryn Brown, health educator at the IU Health Center. “It’s got to be the woman’s decision. No one else can make that decision for her.”

Brown suggests that women project themselves into their future and try to imagine what their life will be after they have the baby or an abortion. She says that they should consider issues like financial support, housing, school, and what they would like to do with their future.

“One of the things that I really focus on with the girls in counseling is to make sure that they get to a point where they make a decision that’s not based on fear or pressure,” said Angie Harris, client services director at the Crisis Pregnancy Center.

Although all centers recommend that women talk with their partners, family members, trusted friends, spiritual leaders, or professional counselors, they also emphasize that women must make the choice for themselves.

Abortion

If you can’t see pregnancy or parenthood in your near future, Planned Parenthood performs vacuum aspiration abortions from six to 12 weeks into the pregnancy for $400 and medical abortions from six to eight weeks for $500.

When you visit Planned Parenthood, an educator will walk you through all three of the options available to you, giving you the details for each, Niles-Carnes said, including the specific medical details of each type of abortion offered.

According to Indiana law (Indiana Code 16-34-2), you must sign a voluntary consent form and wait 18 hours before you can have the procedure performed. You must also have an in-person counseling session in which you will be informed of the age of and details about the fetus, your other options, the possible side effects of an abortion, and government financial support available if you choose to have the baby.

“What I know from all my research is that for most women who have abortions – and there are always exceptions to this – there’s usually an overall feeling of relief,” Brown said. “Usually the women who have regret or are depressed after having an abortion are conflicted going in or they’re getting pressure from someone else.”

All agencies stressed that you must make the choice that is best for you and your future.

Post-abortion counseling services are available on a case-by-case basis through CAPS at the IU Health Center, recommendations from Planned Parenthood, at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, and – most likely – at your center of worship.

Adoption

Planned Parenthood works with the Independent Adoption Center in Indianapolis. Kathy Wilkerson, the branch director and an open adoption counselor, usually travels to Bloomington on Mondays to meet with potential birth parents considering adoption.

“You have to look at all the options, and you have to look at what your plan is for the future and how does adoption and a child fit into that,” Wilkerson said. “We focus a lot on the emotions of making an adoption plan, the permanency of the adoption plan, and the reassurance that contact will continue when the birth parents are ready for that.”

The Independent Adoption Center is a national adoption agency that arranges open adoptions, in which birth parents and adoptive parents can individually arrange the level of contact desired. “A lot of prospective birth parents don’t probably know the level of openness we allow,” said Wilkerson. “You can have the level of contact that you want with the baby after the placement.”

Birth parents are not required to hire an attorney, nor do they pay any fees to the adoption agency. Occasionally, adoptive parents will pay for pre-natal expenses and medical care. The agency provides counseling for choosing an adoptive family and an adoption plan. It also performs all the legal services except for finalization, for which the adoptive parents must hire a lawyer.

“If you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to call and ask, whether it’s our agency or another agency or an attorney, because there are a lot of different things to think about,” Wilkerson said. “Just talking with someone about all those options is probably going to be one of the most helpful things that you can do.”

Becoming a Parent

While most IU students are not in as comfortable a position for raising a child as Rachel or Miranda, deciding to keep your baby does not have to be as terrifying as it may seem.

If you have support from your family and community, it becomes much easier.

“Single parenthood is difficult at any stage, but when you’re very young at it, it’s very challenging,” said Father Richard Litzau, at St. Paul Catholic Center. “But the first thing I would do is tell [a girl] not to be scared. She’s not in this alone, obviously.”

If you have one, a religious center will provide counseling and guidance in a supportive atmosphere.

“We don’t really ask any questions; it’s not really about a judgment situation,” Litzau said. “For us it really is a ministry to somebody in the parish who has a specific need, and as a group we just kind of enfold that person. We refer them to the places they need to be referred to, but if what they really need is just some emotional support and someplace to just be, we offer that.”

Litzau also said that most religious communities will react in the same way, and that even if they cannot provide financial support, they will welcome anyone in need as a family member.

If you are not so fortunate as to have a stable home, need-based options other than government agencies are still available. The Crisis Pregnancy Center will help you find doctors and get on Medicaid if you need it, and it staffs childbirth educators who will attend doctor appointments with you and coach you during labor.

The Crisis Pregnancy Center offers material support through its “baby bucks” program, in which you earn points through “doing positive things,” like attending parenting classes or family resource activities through the center. The points can then be used to buy items ranging from diapers and baby food to cribs and car seats.

The Crisis Pregnancy Center also works with the Hannah House, a maternity home with facilities to house up to eight women and their babies anytime during pregnancy and up to six months after the baby is born.

“The focus here is really on growing and developing as a parent and as a person,” Harris said. “We do life skills training, parenting classes. We also have free childbirth classes and free parenting classes. There is structure, but it’s definitely not a feel of a shelter, it’s definitely more of a home.”

The classes and services of the Crisis Pregnancy Center are available to anyone in the community, not just residents of the Hannah House.
 
No matter your choice, you can turn to any of the above agencies and centers for help or advice. Talk to your loved ones, take time to weigh your pros and cons, but in the end, be sure to make the choice that will ensure you the brightest future.
 
Links
Planned Parenthood: http://www.plannedparenthood.org
IU Health Center: http://www.indiana.edu/~health/index.shtml
Independent Adoption Center: http://www.adoptionhelp.org/
Crisis Pregnancy Center: http://www.cpcbloomington.org/