Fri 21 Dec 2007
Lessons in preparing for a funeral and its aftermath
It’s possibly the most unpleasant occurrence anyone will ever have to face, but planning for a funeral ahead of time can make a difficult time a bit less trying. While most people don’t even want to consider the death of loved ones, let alone their own, it’s the unpredictable nature of death that needs attention ahead of time to make things easier on those carrying out last wishes.
And though nuts and bolts like legal proceedings and funeral preparations seem like the last things you’d want to have hanging around your neck after the passing of a loved one, they are the most important things to attend to.
“One of the first things you want to do is consult an attorney that specializes in estate administration or there can be legal consequences,” says William Fawcett, a Bloomington attorney who offers estate services.Fawcett says the most common problem people run into after a family member dies is not having delineated clearly who gets what. There are a number of ways to designate heirs, including writing a will, establishing a living trust and establishing joint ownership, but Fawcett says each method has drawbacks.
“The method that involves the least professional assistance is naming a beneficiary using a ‘pay on death’ designation,” which he says establishes in writing who property should transfer to upon death.
If there is no beneficiary named, then the local government will have to mail out affidavits to notify each potential heir and that can get expensive, Fawcett says. The cost of postage will be billed to the estate.
The most obvious thing to get done is planning the funeral and, again, planning ahead is what those in the industry recommend to avoid unnecessary headaches.
“If people come in ahead of time and plan, the process will be easier and for people who lose a family member, the most common problem we run into is not having their vital stats such as maiden names and other information we need for writing an obituary for the paper,” says Ryan Goss, a funeral director at the Allen Funeral Home. “We advise people to have that stuff written down somewhere.”
Cost is another thing that should be high in people’s considerations and Goss says it’s something that is hard to estimate.
“The average cost is around $7,000 to $8,500, but we have caskets that are $7,000 by itself,” he says.
But a federal law known as the Funeral Act requires funeral homes to present customers with an itemized list of products, services and their cost. This list usually includes prices for preparation of the body, caskets, flowers, burial services and music.
According to Goss, the funeral home will take care of everything except the burial plot in the cemetery.
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Customers should be aware that every time they interact with a funeral home, this list must be presented to them by law.
There are a number of places from which to choose burial plots in Bloomington. The city maintains two cemeteries, Rose Hill and White Oak.
Jay Davidson, sexton for the city, oversees the administration of grave plots and makes sure that individual family members are laid where they had requested.
Rose Hill has been around since about 1810, and until recently all the burial plots were sold as family plots, he says. “Everything is sold as single graves now and each one costs $340. It’s usually couples buying sets now.”
Davidson says that Rose Hill is about 70 percent full, so plots are still available.
“If you haven’t done this before, it’s very hard the first time, but if you have to do it again, you’ll be prepared to do it, and I recommend getting as much info as possible beforehand,” he says.
Although not a nuts and bolts part of funeral planning, grief and bereavement counseling may be necessary for some to help deal with emotional aspects of loss.

There are a number of options available to Bloomington residents, including free group counseling at the Bloomington Hospital as a part of the Hospice program.
The adult bereavement groups are held in all but the summer months and are free and open to anyone in the community. In addition to counseling sessions, they feature information and resources including books for those not wishing to attend group sessions.
Sandra Clark is a counselor who maintains a private practice in Bloomington and also provides group counseling for the hospice program. Clark says support from the hospice is primarily available to those who have family members in hospice care, but anyone can get support even if they don’t.
“Grief counseling is not about changing the person, it’s not about fixing anything. It’s about being there with them as they process loss and to figure out how to cope on a daily basis and face responsibilities,” Clark says.
According to Clark, grief counseling spans an average of five sessions with a counselor and the average cost in private practice is around $70 per session. The hospice programs run for six weeks per session and are free of cost.
“Taking really good care of yourself is of the utmost importance. It’s not a time for a life review; really try to take care of yourself. Don’t get in a hurry to make changes, and it usually helps to share grief,” Clark says.

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