Stories...Sears

Charity Sears

Bloomington HS South - Ind.
July 9-13, 2001

Dating Stages with the Ages

Perception of Dating Changes with Gratuity

With drops of sweat dripping off her forehead, Lenee Reedus, 32, was expecting to walk directly to her car and pick up another load of her belongings to put into storage. As she was walking out the door, an attractive man stopped her and said, "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier how beautiful you look."

At first Reedus thought that he was just feeding her another pick up line, but after talking to him for a while she realized that the compliment had been genuine. A week later the two decided to have dinner together. "We had a wonderful time, but he turned out to be more possessive and obsessive.... I'm more cautious now."

As people get older, their objective for dating changes.

Getting to know someone before dating is more important now to Quin Dwigans, 20, High School Journalism Institute counselor. "Looking back, in high school, relationships seem to have been petty. Now that I'm in college and making my own decisions, I've been able to realize what it really takes," she said. Dwigans has been dating her boyfriend for a year but had been good friends for a year before they started dating.

Lisa Hilliard, 17, Lakota East High School in Liberty Township, Ohio, strongly disagrees. She dated her best friend for eight months and when they broke up lost their friendship.

Not wanting to lose a great friend, Jenny Bierck, 16, Cathedral High School in Indianapolis, was hesitant to date her best friend, Sean Finley. She had been dating other guys and had been hurt by each one, yet Finley was there for her every time. She said she had considered him her little brother.

When Finley started dating someone, Bierck finally realized that she had stronger feelings for him. "I had known he liked me, but I never really gave him the chance.... Then when we kissed we both knew right then we had something special."

The two have been dating for two months and are closer than ever. "Now instead of sitting on the couch with my best friend watching a movie, I'm sitting on the couch watching a movie with my boyfriend, who is also my best friend," she said.

Not everyone wants to pursue a relationship past friendship. Rob Kendall, 17, Brownsburg High School in Indiana, sincerely uses the line "just want to be friends." He doesn't have a steady girlfriend, and doesn't want one. "I date, go to movies, hang out in a group, but school is more important than flirting around," Kendall said.

Tom Weeks, 21, shares a similar outlook. Dating only one person is more commitment than he wants to make. He dates for fun, but is mostly focused on graduating from college.

Prioritizing is how Shandra Calhoun, 22, High School Journalism Institute counselor, keeps dating and school balanced. "I have to remember I came to college to get a degree, and that's most important," she said.

Calhoun describes the dating experience as bittersweet: "Now I'm out of high school and more mature, I have more fun. Yet, I still have to make sure I accomplish my goals."