Stories...McGlone

Kathleen McGlone

Cathedral HS - Indianapolis, Ind.
July 15-19, 2001

Does the majority rule?

"Majority rules!" That's the playground catch phrase.

Playground Leader: "What game are we going to play?"

14 of 15 playground kids: "Soccer!"

Whiny playground kid: "But I don't wanna play soccer!"

Playground Leader: "Too bad, majority rules!"

Or

"We're gonna have a club. Mallory, Jessie, and Stacie and me. Donna, you can't be in it."

"Why not?"

"Cause we said so. Majority rules."

The majority rules' idea is also the catch phrase in politics. Simple majority in the Electoral College, and 'Dub-ya' assumes the presidency. Sorry, Gore, but majority rules. In business, nine out of 10 company board members vote for the mandatory retirement of the board president under a company clause. Sir, I'm sorry to inform you that majority rules. In the courts, a majority of jurymen vote guilty. You're going to jail, buddy. Majority rules.

This majority rules' concept is so cool that I think we should apply it to everyday life. Take the really annoying guy you know. Gather a group of people acquainted with him and cast a vote. You know the kind - "Everyone who thinks this guy's annoying say 'Ay!'" If the majority says 'Ay,' ship the annoying guy to a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a knife, some matches, and a volleyball.

How about that math teacher you hate - the one who assigns homework every night, even over breaks? Organize a class vote. If the majority hates her, off to the island she goes.

And hey, if the islands become full, we can always send people to the moon.

Once the 'majority rules' trend catches on, people will be voted off the earth faster than CBS can write bad reality shows. I'll estimate that in less than a year, we will rid the world of her annoying and hated people, and she will be the better for it.

Just be careful not to make anyone really mad. I mean, you never know when 'majority rules' could turn against you. Being stuck on an island for the rest of your life wouldn't be cool. But as long as you're careful to stay in the majority, I'm sure everything will be fine.

So let's all take a tip from our playground friends: majority rules!